Tuesday 12 September 2017

Love: A feeling

There's this love that no one can tell. It can't be seen nor can be heard. The only way to know is for you to feel. This love can stand through the test of time. It can surpass any gods and goddesses. Its power is unimaginable yet for some it's the best feeling ever.

        It started when the world was full of darkness. I couldn't think how to survive, but when she came, things became so easy. The circumstances that we encountered were unexplainable for we seemed to be in a script written by unknown. There were moments that we couldn't justify whether it's coincidence or predetermined. I kept on wondering if there's someone out there who changed our paths for us to be together or we personally chose this path that led us to each other. If it were the first, I would be asking that someone to write acceptable ending for us. However, it's impossible for our story ended long before it even started.

        Watching you from afar was my hobby. It began when you caught my attention by being yourself. It didn't require you to be the most perfect girl in my very eyes. You did capture my heart the moment my eyes set in yours. It was the most unimaginable yet the most amazing feeling. I couldn't fathom why,of all people, you were chosen. There was nothing special about you. However, you became the most treasured person in my life without you exerting effort.

          Days passed by like an arrow, feelings started to grow. My mind tried to control them yet, they're like water in my hands that were slowly dripping. As I held on to that feeling, it became my illness. It caused me sleepless nights and chaotic mind. I once became insane for I asked myself for some explanations that I knew from the very start didn't exist. These things kept on taunting me. I wished that letting you know my feelings was just a matter counting 1,2,3. Nevertheless, the truth couldn't be as easy as that nor be contained forever.

        The moment you decided to be with someone else was the moment my heart stopped its function. It refused to beat and to think. Needless to say, my brain told it to do so. Owing to the people's advice, I tried to continue my life without you. It was such a roller-coaster journey. It started arduous, then it became easy, yet unconsciously, it stopped. I pretended not to know why, but as a matter of fact, I knew for I did it on purpose. I didn't want to let you go. I didn't want to let go of the memories we shared. I am still hoping that we can still have our “story”. My subconscious mind wished that I could put your name and mine in a sentence; that it's possible for us to be in one place. Yet deep inside, I know that “us” is next to impossible.